PitchBlue

I want your warmth, but I dread your touch,

for I will melt onto your skin, losing the very shape that caught your attention.
I am scared I will be looked over, and stay unseen.

I want your colors, but I fear being painted, for I will lose the elegance that you once sought.
I am scared I will be too much and not enough.

I want your rugged smell, but I feel threatened by your proximity, for I will fall for you with nowhere to land.
I am scared I might end up getting stepped on.

I want your love, but I tremble while trying to express how I feel, for I have been heard a hundred times but listened only once.
I am scared I have already become a scratchy static, and not the beautiful calm that your ears long for.

Every day, I look at you, and my heart breaks, for I can’t be yours forever, nor can I make you mine for once.

Love, it’s killing me from within.

So tell me, please, how can I end this turmoil?
How should I end my misery?
Apace by embracing you, or slowly by avoiding you with a heavy heart?

Should I die, love:
at once by kissing you, or every day by moving apart?